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Chapter 5 - Sixty Days of Voicemails

I didn't wait for the hearing to start building my file.

The letter from the county had a date on it, and that date did not care whether I was ready, so I treated the next three weeks like a job.

I called my phone company and asked for a detailed statement of all calls to and from my number going back to the first of the year, and they mailed it to me in a fat envelope with my own name printed across the front.

My husband Walter always said I was the organized one in this family, and I put that to use.

I sat at the kitchen table with a yellow legal pad, and I wrote down every call Cole had ever made to my house.

There weren't many.

Eleven weeks he had left that child with me, and the paper showed nine phone calls total, and eight of them came in the first two weeks.

After that, nothing until February.

One call, the second week of February, from a number I did not recognize.

I dialed the number from my landline, and it went straight to a recorded voice that said the mailbox was full and to try again later.

I called it again the next morning.

Same voice.

So I went to the library and I sat down at one of their computers, and a young man at the front desk showed me how to look up a phone number for a fee of four dollars.

The number came back registered to an LLC, which is a company name, and the company name was Vega Holdings.

Vega was Marissa's maiden name.

I sat back in that library chair and I looked at the screen until it went dark.

My stepson had been calling my house from a phone registered to his missing wife's family name, seventy-some days after he swore to me that he was working in Ohio.

I went home and I did not tell Nora anything, because there was nothing to tell her that a six-year-old could hold.

But she had been telling me something for weeks, and I had not been listening.

It was the pediatrician's visit that did it.

I take her every eight weeks for her ears, and this time the nurse asked her the usual questions while I sat in the chair by the door.

Nora was coloring with the little crayons they keep in a basket, and the nurse asked her who lives in her house.

Nora said Gramma, and she said Walter's picture, and then she said, "and the man who takes Mommy's car."

The nurse wrote something down and moved on to the next question.

I did not move in that chair.

I asked her about it in the car.

I asked her what man, sweetheart, what man takes Mommy's car.

She said he comes at nighttime and he parks it behind the garage.

She said it like it was as ordinary as rain.

When we got home I went through her things.

I know how that sounds.

I stood in my own hallway and I went through a six-year-old's lunchbox because I had run out of polite questions.

Taped inside the lid was a drawing on orange paper.

It was a house with three windows.

In the top window was a woman with brown hair down to her shoulders, and under the woman, in Nora's shaky hand, was written Mommy.

I took the drawing out to the patio because my hands were shaking, and the woman was waving, and there was a sun in the corner, and there was a little car next to the house drawn by a child who had been told her mother went away and chose to draw her coming back.

I sat there for a long time with that paper on my knees.

That night I called Marcia Fenwick back and I told her what I had found.

She didn't speak for a while, and I could hear a television going in the background, and then she said, "I'll send you what I have."

Her email came at eleven-forty that night.

It was a photo dump, she called it, four pictures and a note.

The last one was Marissa's final Instagram post.

The timestamp said January eleventh.

Nineteen days after my stepson told me she had walked out on him and their daughter.

She was standing with her back to the water and a man's jacket over her shoulders and a boat ramp behind her.

I know that marina.

It is at the end of Cole's own street, the one that dead-ends at the water, twelve minutes from the house where my granddaughter has been sleeping in my guest room for eleven weeks.

I sat there in the dark of my kitchen with the glow of the screen on my face and I understood that Marissa did not leave in December, and she did not leave in Ohio, and she did not leave the way I was told.

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She stood at the end of her own road on January eleventh.

And then she disappeared.

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